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its_likealchemy ([personal profile] its_likealchemy) wrote2015-03-07 05:15 pm

feels like we're given so little time ❧ rp for [personal profile] dramatic_timing

As far as beginnings go, its starts innocuously enough.

Two-thirds of the way up the mountain on their trek to the Temple of Sacred Ashes to join the Conclave, Hawke stops, turns and squints into the treeline that frames the road behind them. He stops, too, plants one foot on a rock at the edge of the cobble, pushing up onto his toes, and follows her gaze. When he sees nothing of interest, he looks up at her, frowning as she does. "Why do I feel like I'm missing the punchline of a really bad joke?"

"Well, they do usually go over your head," she responds absently, still staring, fingers twitching at her side as if she means to reach for her dagger. She stops, they both do, when Cassandra calls for them somewhere further down the road.

Letting out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, Varric glances back at her before nudging Hawke's elbow with his. She looks back at him, if only for an instant, before turning her attentions back to the woods. He tries again, this time without the prodding -- it helps that, just before he starts, Cassandra bellows for them again. "I don't know if you heard our illustrious slave driver, but we might want to think about catching up before she starts getting stab happy again."

She looks back at him, plants one hand on the top of his head and twists lightly, as if to turn him around, back to Cassandra. Despite how short he is, it doesn't really work, but he gets the meaning all the same. "You'd best be off, then."

"I'm pretty sure she called for both of us."

"I'll catch up," she counters. "Tell her -- tell her I had to make a detour to the little rogue's privy."

Varric just continues to frown at her. "Should I even ask what your elven eyes see out there?"

"Probably nothing." She shrugs, reaches again for her dagger, this time pulling it free of its sheath on her back and takes a handful of steps back the way they came.

Stepping down off his perch, he turns but makes no motion to follow her. He trusts Hawke to take care of herself, knows that, if she does see something shady, she'll be able to get to it and stop it more effectively, more quietly without him and Bianca, but, "You get that those are kind of famous last words, right?"

"Oh, relax, Varric. What's the worst that could happen?"

Running into a horde of angry Templars springs to mind. As does the thought of blood mages, demons and / or the errant hungry bear, considering how far out of the city, any city they are, right now. He doesn't get to spout any of that off, however, if only because she's gone in all but the blink of an eye, disappearing off into the tress in only the briefest flashes of red and black. He exhales heavily, shakes his head and turns himself, already trying to decide what he's going to tell Cassandra when he catches up with her. He hopes Hawke realizes how much he loves her, considering how absolutely shitless the Seeker scares him.

---


What scares him more is what happens next.

They're almost to the camp just outside the Temple when the whole thing goes up in flames, green flames that knock him and Cassandra both square on their asses and suck all the air right out of the mountains, if only for an instant. When he gets his breath back and as he's staggering to his feet, he swears he hears a scream echo over their heads and a weird sort of dread settles over him. The fact that there's a giant hole in the sky, now, or the fact that he's pretty sure no one could have survived that probably doesn't help, but -- but in that instant, he thinks of Hawke.

She still hasn't caught up with them. What if whoever or whatever she was following got to the Temple before they did? What if she was at ground zero for whatever the hell that was? What if.

He glances to Cassandra, back on her feet now and one hand on her sword like its a medallion of Andraste, like it will somehow save her, and she looks back, her face pale, eyes haunted. He knows, somewhere in the pit of his stomach, that on top of everything else, she's had the same thought. He can see it on her face. He wishes he hadn't.

Dropping his eyes, turning his head, he stares off to one side for a long moment, his breathing heavy, hard, the Siege of Kirkwall reenacting itself in his chest. It takes him a moment to catch his breath and not lose his very bland, very beerless breakfast all over his boots, but when he does, he mutters a prayer to the Maker under his breath, steels his jaw and starts towards the Temple otherwise wordless. His distantly aware of Cassandra falling into step behind him. They don't talk but the memory of screaming rings in his ears.

---


"He says he can help."

"Songbird, unless he's the Maker Himself, I don't think a little bit of healing's going to fix this."

The words taste like poison on his lips, with Hawke's unconscious head bowed on his knees, he can't help but think this is it. The fact that she doesn't seem bruised or broken or bleeding helps; the fact that he can't get her to wake up even with the salts he's pulled out of his belt pouch, the fact that her breathing is shallow and broken, and her hand's glowing like a fucking torchlight, like the hole in the sky doesn't. He reaches for her fingers carefully and he, a dwarf, normally immune to such things, can feel it burning under her gloves before he even laces their fingers together. He gives up on the gesture, clencing his eyes shut tightly, a ward against the stinging there.

"If you would just let him -- " Leliana starts again. She stops when he shoots her a sudden, murderous look. Or when the elf steps forward. He's not really sure which it is and, quite honestly, he doesn't really care.

"Master Tethras, is it?" Baldy starts. He's a little hard pressed to come up with a better nickname, right now, not with his heart dying in his lap. He grunts in response, regardless, his attentions still set on Hawke. "Master Tethras, please. I have studied the old magics of the Fade in painful detail, so if anyone here is any position to help her, it would likely be me. At very least, it cannot hurt to try and I will not hurt her in doing so. You have my word."

"If she dies ... " If she dies, he'll bribe or threaten or -- whatever whoever he needs to to make sure the elf ends up on the wrong end of a headsman's axe. If him trying to help only kills her faster, he'll put a dozen explosive arrows through his head himself and watch him blow up like a bird grown fat on rice. The look he gives him when he finally raises his eyes reflects that and the elf doesn't falter. Instead, he just holds his gaze for a moment, nodding almost imperceptibly, and then lowers himself to Hawke's side.

He lets him take her, pushing shakily to his feet. He wants to be here, be at her side, for better or worse, as the elf works on her, but his feet carry him away of their own volition.

"I need some air," he grumbles to no one in particular. Never mind the fact that they're already outside. Cassandra and her men, ringing the space around them, part to let him pass.

---


"If I were to tell you she was completely out of the woods, I would be lying," Solas starts from behind him. He actually thought to ask the mage's name at some point, last night, after they'd moved Hawke back to the Chantry at Haven. "But she is stable and, I would think, gaining strength. She dreams, now, no longer merely unconscious, and her breathing has righted itself."

"Does Cassandra have any idea who did this, yet?" he asks lowly, as if raising his voice might wake Hawke up. Even if Solas' assessment bringing him some measure of hope, he doubts it. She may not be completely out of it, anymore, but she still hasn't woken up for anything. Just thrashed around a lot, worryingly, for what he's seen so far.

"No, but we may have more immediate concerns. What Seeker Pentagast and her associates have named the Breach -- "

"Can wait until I find out who did this and put an arrow in his eye."

Solas falls silent at that, apparently contenting himself to watching the both of them.

---


On the morning of the third day, an angry mob, pitchforks and all, show up at the doors of the Chantry, where Varric has been sitting, dismissed from Hawke's side by Solas while he furthers his attempts at bringing her around. Sons and daughters of the men and women lost at the Conclave, they hold Hawke responsible, the "Champion" of Kirkwall behind another act of terrorism, and demand retribution. He pulls Bianca from his lap, where she's been resting as he cleaned her gears idly, picks up a bolt and with a casual flourish, loads it in.

He fires a single shot at the feet of the horde, a challenge, a dare. They disperse in an instant, flailing in all directions, not having expected any actual resistance. They don't come back.

---


That night, as the day sinks into felfire-green twilight and fires begin to spring up around the camp, Cassandra finds him. He's half-expecting tables to be flipped, books to be skewered, something, anything, in response to him having all but openly attacked the locals. Much to his surprise, however, she simply sits down across the doorway from him and pulls her knees up to her chest so she can rest her elbows on them.

She's silent for a long time, albeit not uncomfortably so, before, "Solas tells me Hawke will be awake by tomorrow."

Less than a dozen words, and he feels all the anger he's been carrying around, all the terror, unravel, the knot that's been winding around and around in his heart and head both gone in an instant. He closes his eyes, fingers steepling in front of his mouth in a gesture of prayer as he silently thanks the Maker. He lets out a shuddering, half-frozen breath between them before he drops his hands. "Guess I should stop sitting out here on my ass, then, huh?"

"I do not think she would be terribly happy with me if I allowed her dwarf to freeze to death," she says by way of agreement.

He exhales a hysterical sigh of a laugh, relief, albeit cautious relief, making him giddy. "So you do have a sense of humor."

"On occasion." She flashes him a brief, thin smile, watching him get to his feet before she begins again. "There will be many questions she will have to answer, when she wakes up, and much for us to do beyond, but Varric, I wanted to say ... " He looks to her, expectantly, and she falters for an instant as she tries to untangle her words. "For your sake, I am glad she will be alright."

"So am I, Seeker," he breathes, turning to head inside. "So am I."
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
There's blue light in the darkness that is all she remembers after leaving Varric on the road, and she turns toward it instinctually, with memories of her father healing her countless scraped knees, of Bethany picking up where he left off. It calls her with a voice she doesn't know, but it's better than the darkness she leaves behind.

It's odd, recognizing when she re-enters the Fade. Obviously, she's here anytime she sleeps, but this is only the second time she knows where she is, the first having been when she, Aveline, Varric, and Anders went in after Feynriel.

Like thinking of him is a cue, the visions around her dissipate, the voice and its blue light receding as she finds herself looking up at Kirkwall's Chantry - as she finds herself looking up at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, as it goes up in green flames. There's someone ahead of her in the rubble, but she can't see them, she can't push forward, she can't draw a weapon, she can't move and the figure turns and it's the Divine and there's something happening, something Hawke needs to remember - and then the figure changes and it's Grand Cleric Elthina and it changes again and it's face after face after face after face after face after face until they're blurring so fast she can't make them out, until she can feel the pressure on her mind, until it's almost more than she can take - and then so suddenly it leaves her reeling, it stops, and she's looking at Anders, his shadow larger than it should be, blue light glowing from his eyes and cracks in his skin but it burns her like it never did when they were here before. He says something, she can see his mouth moving, but she can't hear him, and she knows it's her fault, and she still can't move, and the cracks in his skin grow and the light turns a sickly green and he's going to pieces as surely as the Chantry and her arm is burning and she can hear herself screaming but she still can't move -

And there's the even, calming, unfamiliar voice again with its warmer blue light, and she can breathe as the pain recedes to her hand. She can almost see him, now, but everything is losing clarity, taking on the hazy cast of an everyday dream, and her memory of it all fades as -

As she opens her eyes slowly and with no small effort to blink at the - rather painfully nondescript - ceiling over her. The pain is still radiating up her arm from her left hand, and she clenches her hand - and then can't stop herself crying out as it flares, pain shooting up her arm and light flooding the room for an instant as she gasps for breath around it. "What the..." she manages, once she can breathe again.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
Hawke's eyes snap to him as she tenses again, not entirely sure she's not still dreaming - but she relaxes again an instant later, even shifting into his touch as she closes her eyes again - just for a moment, this time, before she looks up at him again. "You're alright," she states, voice full of relief - and it's really not a question - because she might not remember exactly what happened, but she knows it was something bad.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
"The Temple..." she says, relief replaced by horror. "I don't remember," she admits, a little stricken, and then looks to the ceiling again, frowning as she tries. "I remember being on the road to camp..." This time, she trails off. "Shit. Why can't I remember?"

There's another flare from her hand, and she swears again, more creatively this time, and flails a little, trying to push herself up - and failing as it just happens again. She might be on the edge of a small freakout.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Hawke lets him push her back down, still catching her breath, but she also grabs for his hand - with her right, in case whatever's wrong with her left will hurt more than just her. "Varric, wait, don't...." she says quickly but trails off, still clinging to his hand.

Don't leave her.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
If she notices - and she does, admittedly -, she's not about to say anything considering she's the one clinging to his hand right now like a scared child. She's also not going to argue with him, now; she just still has no idea what's going on. "I'll be alright," she assures him, even if that's not something she can really promise. He already knows she'll never go down without a fight, anyway.

That in mind, she squeezes his hand again and then lets go. She's not happy about it, but she can be a good patient if it'll give him less to worry about.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
"It's doing what?" she returns, and she knows she heard him, but just. What?

She's also going to try again to get herself upright - and make more progress, this time, if just because she takes it more slowly and that's one hell of a distraction from the thing on her hand and the fact that she's missing so much time.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
"I miss all the fun," she mutters just as flippantly - if not more distracted, since she's still focusing on taking it slow and not triggering the mark - as she stops for a moment and then starts to push herself up to her feet, reaching out for him automatically as she does, trusting him to come help her. "I'll need my armor and weapons."

She knows she's not up to usual snuff right now, but she can't go out there in her smallclothes, and she's not going to make him have to protect her if they run into trouble on their way there.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 06:59 am (UTC)(link)
Hawke immediately leans against him but keeps her left hand held loosely against her chest, still afraid to touch him with it. She seems to gain strength as they go, too, growing more steady on her feet and leaning on him less, though she's also not in a particular hurry to lose contact with him.

She feels like that's important for both their sakes.

She lets him lead her to what is clearly a cabinet in someone's office and steps carefully away, a little relieved to realize that she is much less wobbly, now. Not that that changes the fact that something else occurs to her as she considers the armor. "Oh, this will be fun."

She's probably going to need help with this, too.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
"As much as I hate buying off the rack," she answers after thinking it over for a moment, "it might be better for now." She does reach in to take her daggers, knives, and pouches before closing the cabinet again - and grits her teeth around another minor flare from the mark. "Let's go."
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Hawke is still happy enough to let him, really, considering she knows she's not back to a hundred percent yet.

"As long as it's not made for a dwarf or qunari, we can likely make it work," she puts in as she sets down her weapons and moves to help him find something.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
"Trying to get me mistaken for an elf, are we?" she returns, still trying at something like their usual banter to try and keep him from worrying too much. She also takes the stack from him, taking a moment to figure out what's what before she starts pulling it on.

And as much as she hates to admit it, even though this is simpler than her red and black, by the time she's pulling on the boots he finds, she's glad for the crate she found to sit down on.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-08 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
"I could make the ears work," she shoots back absently as she catches her breath - and then smiles, the expression real even as she still jokes, "Well, style is always important. Thank you." That last part, she actually means - for the compliment, for him helping her find something, and for a lot more beyond that.
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[personal profile] dramatic_timing 2015-03-09 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
She's still glad for his hand, and she takes it, using him for balance as she gets back to her feet. She's still not as steady as she would like, even if she is less likely to actually fall over now as she was when they first left the bedroom. "I'm good," she agrees and assures both of them. "Let's get Bianca and catch up."

As much as she knows Varric is impatient for the mage to get another look at her, she's equally impatient for some actual answers about all of this.

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